Pregnant stripper...not hot.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
