can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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