What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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