you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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