So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize