have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
