I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
