Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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