Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
