My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
