piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize