it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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