so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
