I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
