I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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