i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize