brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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