your parents love me but you hate me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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