Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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