he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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