come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
