something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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