This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
