He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
