I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
