Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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