So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
