i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
