Whatcha textin bout Willis?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
