Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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