Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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