A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
