Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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