If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
