He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
