Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
