OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
