Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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