ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
