My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I lost the right to judge tonight
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
