ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
