new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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