I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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