she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
