i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize