3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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