I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
