Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
