so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
