when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
