Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
