WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
