I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I love you.
Bad choice
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
