so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
