i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
