We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
