I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
