If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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