well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
