I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
