all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
