No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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