god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
