It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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