Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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