There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
