I want to stick my p in your. b.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
