She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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