Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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