We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was like eating out sand paper
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
