I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
